


New Look

by Vexicle



Series: Black Velvet [4]
Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-15 21:22:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13621929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vexicle/pseuds/Vexicle





	1. Chapter 1

It's yet another normal day for them, Kona just doing the usual studying at the library and Eva chewing on her pen urgently when she asks, “Hey, bro, about your… place below the hands?” and irreversibly shooting today into not-so-normal-nor-pleasant for Kona.

Kona stiffens. Oh god, she's going to think that he's pathetic, isn't she? She doesn't need to say it, he already knows. Seriously, what kind of dumb child is he if he couldn't even get over his father’s death? Plenty of kids could. Kona slumps in his seat. He should have been able to as well. He was such a whiny, edgy bastard, he bets that's what it was.

Eva notices his distress and leans in more, murmuring to soothe her little kitten. “Hey, it's okay, but I just… kind of had a suggestion?” She fidgets, brushing against his fingers with her own, and Kona almost flinches at the sudden contact. “If you don't wanna talk about it, I'll drop it,” she offers quietly.

Kona takes a shuddering breath, soothing all of the ugly feelings threatening to rise up over him and engulf him once again. “What do you have in mind?” Kona asks, taking care to erase any trace of the discomfort he feels from his voice. Eva of course picks up on it anyway, and she smiles reassuringly. Kona feels his heart flutter in gratitude.

“You wear jackets a lot to make it seem like nothing's really there, right?”

“Yeah,” he says, and he feels his heart hammering in his chest. He's sweating a little despite the air conditioning present in the library. Why’s he so anxious? Why? Kona swallows and he feels like there's a lump in his throat. _Get it together, there's nothing to be getting all worked up over!_ Kona thinks furiously.

“The sleeves aren't really reliable, are they? I know mine ride up a lot,” Eva says as gently as she can. She pulls the black-haired boy into a hug, trying to calm him down. “I think your right wrist looks mostly fine, but for your left, maybe you could get a watch, or a bracelet.”

Kona’s chest is still heaving slightly, but Eva’s gentleness has soothed him somewhat. He closes his eyes, focusing solely on breathing in and out, and Eva rubs comforting circles on his back. “I think you’ve got something there,” he says, fixing Eva with his golden gaze. He chuckles a little, trying to alleviate his own awkwardness.

“I think a watch is cooler.”

“Yeah, me too.” Kona thinks he's definitely calmer now, and he flashes a smile at the brunette. “Are you maybe… free after this?” Kona asks shyly, brushing his hair over his shoulder. “Do you want to come with me to pick one out?”

“I think that'll be great.” Eva returns his smile.

“...by the way, don't tell Fox or Winter you know about any of this.” Kona pauses. “Wait, I'm not sure if Yuki knows. Maybe he does. B-but, don't mention my stupidity to anyone, okay?”

“Wait, _stupidity_?” Eva’s green eyes widen, and she abruptly pulls away as though she's been shocked by a taser. “Is that what you really think?”

Kona groans loudly and buries his head in his hands, feeling his hair spill all over his face. Great, now he's gone and blabbed. He's positive he looks like one of those Japanese ghosts. “Won't they… laugh at me?” His voice comes out sounding distinctly _weak_ and he feels miserable. Kona presses his palms further against his cheeks, trembling softly.

Eva doesn't speak, and Kona doesn't dare to spare her a glance. “It's just… I nearly killed myself over something so trivial. Breeze had no problem.” His voice drops to a whisper. “I did. I don't know, I was such a silly child…”

“Can I ask what ‘trivial’ means to you? Cause I'm pretty sure something ‘trivial’ wouldn't cause a kid to attempt… _that_.”

“That's the point,” Kona mutters. “I was young and dumb. I don't think I really understood the gravity of what I was doing.” All at once the negative emotions swirling in his gut overwhelm him, and he feels tears slide down his cheeks. He’s learnt to hide his grief over all these years so as not to worry his loved ones; to cry silently only in the privacy of his room, maybe even plastering on a fake smile to avoid suspicion.

Kona really hadn't understood. He didn't think he had, not until everything went black and he found himself on the hospital bed attached to wires, his exhausted family members sleeping on the chairs next to him. Then it had hit him - in trying to erase his pain he'd hurt his remaining family. Kona Hall was selfish. Kona Hall was stupid.

“Thank you, Eva,” Kona says quietly.

“For what?” Eva sounds surprised. “I didn't do anything! H-hey, are you okay? Kona?”

_But you have,_ Kona thinks dimly as he feels her arm drape around his shoulders. He doesn't have the courage to look at her and instead just continues to stare at his hands. Kona smiles through his tears. Really, he owes it to Eva. Her cheer is infectious, and she brightened up his life when he needed it most. Kona feels his heart throb. God, he loves her.

“No one will laugh at you,” Eva says firmly, massaging his shoulder. “Not if they're worth your time. This is serious, Kona. You're treating this like… like you fell into a pool when you were five, or something!”

“A pool.”

“Or, or like those are puncture marks by a rabid squirrel you provoked on purpose!”

Kona actually bursts out in laughter at that, flicking the hair out of his face, but his heart stops when he realises that it means Eva _saw_ him. He splutters and wipes at his eyes. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry -”

“What are you being sorry for?” Eva demands, and Kona flinches again. Eva realises her mistake and reaches forward more gently, but Kona shies away hurriedly. He can see the slight hurt in her eyes, though it's quickly replaced by concern. 

“I'm bothering you with my bullshit, right?” Kona whispers, his eyes glistening. Oh god, why is he _still_ crying? He really needs to stop. He glares at his abandoned homework furiously.

“Kona,” Eva says, and her voice is soft and comforting. Kona gets the impression that Eva is choosing her next words very carefully. “I'm happy you trust me enough to tell me this,” she says slowly, deliberately. “I'm not going to laugh at you or judge you, and I highly doubt anyone will either. You're not bothering me. I'll try my best to support you, if you'll let me.” Suspicion confirmed, but Kona feels a wave of warmth crash over him at her thoughtfulness, leaving him tingling from head to toe.

“Thank you,” Kona whispers again.

Eva grins at him, her eyes lighting up. “Hey, I say you should get a expensive watch if that's what you want. Sounds like you need a treat after everything you’ve gone through.”

“I-I’d rather not spend more than I have to, I don't want to burden my parents any more than I already have.”

“You already have?” Eva bites her lip. “I'm sorry. If I'm prying too much, just shake your head. You don't have to answer, you know?”

“You're fine,” Kona assures her. “You know, hospital fees, therapy bills, and my general education and life costs all add up to an awful lot.” His eyes flick down again guiltily. “I think I actually caused poor Jasper to have a chunk of _his_ school fees cut off.”

“Aren't you guys rich?” Eva sounds horrified, and he doesn't blame her. Kona blames himself instead.

“I mean, we were, I guess.” Kona shrugs. “It just cost a lot. I don't think many other families could have afforded it.”

“Oh my gosh.” Eva clasps her hand over her mouth. “I'm just glad you're fine now. I'm sure your family feels the same way.” Eva clicks her tongue in thought. “You know, I'm pretty jealous of how you're close with your extended family too. That's pretty rare.”

“Yeah, well, we live together.” Kona smiles. “I've never thought of it that way, but you're right. Actually, the adults all knew each other for a long time, so I think it's expected.”

“Whatever it is, I'm positive they want you to be happy. Why don't you text them if you're so unsure, though?”

“You're right.” Kona wipes his eyes. “I think...I needed this.” He leans in close, pecking Eva on the cheek. “Hey, do you want to go shopping now?”

Eva smiles, and Kona loves the rosy blush across her cheeks. _She’s just perfect,_ he thinks dreamily. Eva starts arranging her homework pile neatly, stuffing them in her bag. “I thought you'd never ask,” she says eagerly.

“What do you think? Downtown?”

Eva gives him such a brilliant smile it makes his heart skip a beat. “Wherever you want, kitten.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Oh, hey. Kona-chan. Nice watch.” Amber eyes flick curiously over to Kona’s hands, and he scrambles to cover said accessory as a shot of embarrassment rips through his body. Though, for what reason, he honestly has no idea why.

“Oh. It's okay, I get it.” Jasper hurriedly redirects his gaze to the ladder of their indoor pool. The two are sitting on one of the white lounge chairs. Breeze is a distance away. seating herself on the first rung in a one-piece black swimsuit, her legs kicking in the clear water. 

“No. I…” Kona just awkwardly shoves his hand in Jasper’s face, making him flinch. “Go ahead,” he mutters quietly. _Why am I such a fuck up?_

_Oh, do stop that._

Gently, Jasper reaches out, holding up Kona’s arm with one hand and running his fingers over the smooth silver band. Kona blushes, reminded of the way Eva’s short fingers ran delicately across his wrist - his skin still tingles from the memory. _She thought it suited me._ Subconsciously, he puffs his chest out, feeling pleased.

_I can't believe I told her._ Really, there had been nothing to be afraid of. He didn't die from embarrassment. She didn't laugh. Kona withdraws and folds his hands neatly on his lap, chuckling to himself. _I'm dumb._

He's wearing his usual annoyingly loud Hawaiian-print shirt and shorts, because frankly he isn't going anywhere near the water. Since Jasper is not an utter failure at life, he's wearing swimming trunks. Kona feels a little bad. He's probably just sticking around to make sure that he doesn't feel lonely.

“How much did it cost?”

“Oh. A thousand or something, I dunno. It, uh... came in the mail today.” _And we split it 50-50._ Kona’s heart warms at Eva’s thought. Drawing his knees to his chest, he buries his head, feeling his black hair get in his eyes. He feels… warm. Tingly.

_What the hell she’s so nice._ Kona allows himself a goofy grin, knowing that no one can see. He feels so happy that he finally managed to share his worries with her. And she wouldn't ever judge him, right? No, he mustn't think that way. Kona just feels so, so grateful to her.

“And whose idea was it?” A little suspicion creeps into Jasper’s voice. Kona freezes, thankful that Jasper hadn't caught his dreamy expression.

“...my own?” Kona clutches harder at his legs. Somehow, he doesn't want anyone else to know. It feels personal, intimate, kind of. He wants it to be his and Eva’s little secret.

He remembers her bright green eyes twinkling at him, asking, "Yo, bro, has my girlfriend rank increased yet?" and thinks to himself that she's probably levelled up _multiple_ times. Eva's so cute and great and shit and he likes her so much already. Definitely a far cry from his ex.

“Kona-chan, I know that's not true.” Kona yelps as he feels the blond poke his shoulder. “You're the ultimate cheapskate!”

“I am _not_! I mean, I am, but I… just… decided it was time to enjoy life! Or… or something, I don't know!” Kona protests, looking up and shaking his head at Jasper frantically.

Jasper doesn't respond. He looks like he's just been struck by a meteor. Kona feels dread fester in his belly - and his fears are proven right when Jasper says thoughtfully, “You're not lying well.”

_Well, fuck._

Kona just looks over at his sister helplessly, trying to signal to her to drag him into the pool or drown him or splash Jasper or _something_ get him out of here NOW. Breeze just looks at him from where she's still sitting, confused.

“Oh my _god_ , it's _Eva_ isn't it?” Jasper claps his hands and squeals excitedly. Kona’s heart stops and he just stares mindlessly at his very own cousin, how _dare_ he, the traitor.

“ _What's_ Eva?” Breeze calls, looking back and forth between both boys and looking both angry and confused at the same time.

Jasper blinks, his hands still clasped together. “Oh, I'm sorry. Did you mind?” he asks, a little sheepishly.

Kona looks from Jasper to Breeze and back at his knees again before shrugging and motioning for him to go ahead. Maybe if it was that obvious there'd be no secret anyway.

“Hey! Breeze!” Jasper screams at Breeze unnecessarily loudly, making Kona jump and hiss at him. “Kona’s GIRLFRIEND got him a PRESENT!”

“WHAT present?!” Breeze yells back.

“Something expensive!!”

“WHAT THE FUCK?? Let me look!”

Breeze gets out of the water (not that she was even doing much swimming), hovering behind her brother. Kona sighs and lets her look at the watch. The face is large, showing them all that the time is 12:32pm and they have all wasted fifteen minutes of their life doing nothing.

Whatever, he'll take consolation in the fact that no one knows they split the payment. 

Okay, that's not much consolation, but still.

“Awww,” Breeze sidles up to Kona with a horrifyingly smug expression on her face. “I bet you're _thrilled_.”

“You're wet!” He protests, squirming. “Stay away! Go away!”

“Yeah~” Jasper smiles a little too innocently. “He was totally trying to hide it earlier.”

“How sweet.” Breeze croons. “What if I… flicked water here?”

“Hey! Hey! You wouldn't dare!”

Kona would later kick himself out of the indoor pool, tail trailing between his legs.


	3. Chapter 3

She doesn't know what she was expecting when she picked up a call without checking the ID, but it definitely wasn't an excited voice squealing, “Eva! Eva! Is it true?”

Eva sighs and wipes at her phone with the towel still draped around her shoulders. Really now, she's just stepped out of the cubicle and her hair’s still wet. Why the hell did anyone have to call right now? Her curiosity’s piqued, though, so she asks, “Kaoru?” 

She supposes that at least it wasn't when she was... ahem... doing naughty things in the shower.

Eva doesn't know what to think or do right now - she just realised she doesn't know her teammate that well - so she just stares at the flower patterns on her wall. Wow, does that tulip need a new coat of paint and does she need to talk more to the brunette.

“I heard you got Kona a little something!” the voice on the other end chirps.

“I… that.” Eva’s mouth drops open in an ‘oh.’ “No, Kona paid for some of it. I can't afford such high-end thingydings.” Still, she doesn't really mind that her allowance she was saving now has been mostly depleted. Eva thinks he deserves it as a treat, after the courage he's shown today. It couldn't have been easy to admit his… history, and Eva feels honoured that he chose to share it with her.

Eva wonders if Kona’s planning to tell the rest of their friends about this. Eventually. It's not her right to give this information out, and she wouldn't like having her Kona privileges taken away due to irresponsibility.

“What was the special occasion?” Kaoru asks innocently, and Eva almost swears before she realises that his childhood friend knows. Still, of course she would ask. She smiles in exasperated amusement.

“I'm not sure if I should tell you, actually,” she admits. “I mean, I know you know, but if you don't know this time round maybe Kona didn't want you to know.” Eva bites her lip. _So much for getting to know each other better. Great conversation here._

“Oh. _Oh._ He told you about when… he was little?” Her voice is hesitant.

Eva blinks in shock. _Way too observant._ “Actually, yeah, that's completely correct.”

“I see. I'm so proud of him!” Eva is just about to preen and feel bedazzled and all that when Kaoru’s voice drops to a whisper. “Oh, so… you really _do_ like him then?”

Eva’s heart starts pounding, and she doesn't know whether she's embarrassed or worried. “I mean… wait, what do you mean?”

Kaoru doesn't miss a beat. “I-I mean… liking someone after… after sex with them? Like, y-you're sure it's love? Not… the other thing?” Kaoru’s voice trails off more and more and Eva decides she realises this probably isn't a very appropriate question.

Eva grips her phone harder, and she doesn't know whether she wants to be angry or be extremely embarrassed that _everyone_ seems to know what they used to do. 

And, well, Eva loosens her hand with a sigh as she concludes Kaoru has a point. Was it all just the high tension or whatever getting to her head? “Kaoru, y-you can't say it’s l-love without even a first... first date,” she jokes weakly.

There! A flame warms her heart, and Eva fidgets nervously at the thought of seeing Kona like that again. “It's not love yet, but it's something,” she says to the other girl, more confidently. “Kaoru, he's my best bro. I won't hurt him. Believe me?”

Eva laughs; Kaoru can barely contain whatever unbridled joy she has over the line. “Oh my god yes okay!! Thanks bye!” she squeals, and then hangs up. Eva chuckles. She could practically feel the excitement vibes over the line.

Oh fuck, her phone screen is wet.

Eva spends the next few minutes fucking around with her hairdryer. Her bright greens stare back at her even though her mirror’s all fogged up. Eva messes up her short hair again and laughs.

_You know what? Even if it was just the excitement talking, I still want to try,_ she tells herself with a firm nod; then Eva laughs as some of the more stubborn strands stick together. _It doesn't even really matter what I like. I like him._

Splashing cold tap water on her face, Eva wipes the moisture off with her towel and trots back into her room. She doesn't hesitate before bouncing into her bed and cuddling the nearest available plushie, a black cotton tiger that lacks any true ferocity. Eva collapses on her back and lifts it high up into the air, peering into its golden eyes.

Then again, if they already got along so well as bros, they'd almost be a guaranteed match, right?


	4. Chapter 4

Eva sits up in her bed that night, pressed up against beige fluffy pillows. In her palms is a stuffed toy no bigger than both her hands put together. The plush black cat’s golden eyes seem to shine up at her. Eva squeezes it in her tough grip.

She knows who the cat reminds her of, of course.

 _Kona,_ she thinks, _Just what on earth have you gone through?_

Slowly, as if her boyfriend really is the cute little cat plush, Eva sets it down gently on the sheets. But then, as an afterthought, Eva picks it up and places it on her pillow instead after she rolls over on her stomach. She rests her chin on her hands as she kicks her legs up. In thought, she clicks her tongue.

 _I never knew his life was like that,_ Eva reminisces. She feels… kind of numb, chilled to the bone, at the thought that this kind soul had to suffer through all of that. Even Kaoru had called to check just in case. Who even called nowadays? It was definitely an important thing Eva couldn’t overlook. Certainly, she had been aware of that stupid ex-girlfriend of his, as well as the fact he suffered from depression, maybe anxiety, but everything else was new to her, and Eva’s still grateful that Kona chose to reveal that to her.

 _He trusts me then,_ Eva thinks, resting a finger against the ends of her lips that are curved into a smile. She feels warm and fuzzy now, which is way more preferable. Then her thoughts shift back to how Kona must have felt, how he might still feel. Eva knows he still occasionally talks to the school counsellor. His not so ideal mental health probably won’t be _cured_ anytime soon.

The light from her phone screen illuminates her pale face. Eva’s fingers hive over the keyboard before she begins to type.

.

“I’ll help you! Wait right here.”

Kona blinks in confusion as Eva, for the third time this recess, stands up and dashes away, not before pushing Kona down slightly as if to non-verbally tell him to stay put. Helplessly, he stares at where Eva was just a moment ago.

Across the table, Kaoru laughs at the confusion on his face. The sound draws his attention to her. Kaoru has a hand pressed over her lips. “Hey, what did you even do to get her so whipped?” she asks as she sips her strawberry milkshake.

“I have a _feeling_ I know what they did.” 

Kona feels a bead of sweat trickle down his neck at Fox’s icy cold glare. Shrinking down, he holds up his hands as a gesture of placation. “N-no, I… I didn't do anything this time, I swear,” he protests. “She just suddenly got all like this and to be honest I don't know why -”

Kona bites his tongue as Eva returns with the cup of ice. Her smile seems a little off. Nonetheless Kona thanks her. His hands subconsciously reach for a straw.

“Oh wait I forgot that I’ll be right back.”

“Eva, I can do it myself,” Kona states in confusion… to thin air. He stares after her tiny figure, watching her get lost in the crowds. Slowly, he turns his head back to Kaoru, mystified. “Do you have any idea?”

Kaoru hums and taps her chin. “I think she might just want to be a good girlfriend?”

“That’s probably it,” Fox says in a long-suffering tone.

“Yeah, but isn’t she acting a little -”

Kona gulps and shuts up the instant Eva zooms back into view. “Here you go,” she says, dangling the translucent green plastic straw in front of him. 

He glances over the straw for a second to catch Kaoru’s now equally mystified glance. Then, Kona flashes a smile at Eva and simply says, “Hey, thanks, man.”

“No problem.” Eva’s smile drops briefly and Kona finds himself trying to analyse what he sees: is that… concern? But then she just takes her seat next to him and begins talking to Fox. He responds to her remark about the spiciness of his rice with an awkward laugh. Kona once again tries to catch Kaoru’s eyes. The brunette can feel his gaze on her, and after a short while, she gives him an apologetic look and a smile that can only mean _I have no idea._

Kona disguises his hesitation by way of pouring his tea into the plastic cup of ice. What should he do? Confront her? He hesitates as he looks at Kaoru and Fox who are chatting casually. No, best not to put Eva on the spotlight. And besides, those two would just feel awkward. But they don’t really have the opportunity to talk for hours after this. He ought to do it now. _It’d be fine as long as I can get her alone,_ Kona concludes. 

Leaning over to his right, he whispers to Eva, “Can I have a few minutes?”

There it is: Eva looks stricken for a moment before her mouth stretches in a sheepish grin. She tries to relax it to make it look more neutral, but it doesn’t really work. “Yeah,” she says, and swallows. Kona stands up and starts walking away, looking back at Eva.

“You two had better not be doing what I think you’re doing,” Fox comments with a sigh. He quickly eats his words when Kona tosses him a hard stare, ducking his head down. Kona grabs Eva by the hand and pulls her along through the hallway.

The instant Kona finds an empty classroom, he pulls Eva aside. “What are you doing?” he asks, unsure if to allow his annoyance or worry seep through the cracks. He stands there, consciously aware of black strands of hair trickling down this neck.

Eva rubs her left wrist with her right hand. “What do you mean?” she asks, obviously uncomfortable, refusing to meet his gaze. “I’m not… doing anything.”

Something in Kona’s heart twists like barbs and unconsciously, he finds himself yanking her arm. “Don’t lie to me,” he pleads. “I know you’re treating me differently! You’ve barely returned any of my jokes all morning and now you’re doing this.”

Eva says nothing, just stares at him with an expression mixed between guilt and surprise. Her green eyes seemed to have dulled somewhat. Lowering her head, she replies, “...you told me stuff, and I… felt kind of bad, and I thought… maybe I could help.”

At first, Kona’s instinct is to tell her to be more specific. Then he realises they’re in a public space as soon as two chattering girls wander into his view. _Stuff I told her about…_ Kona blinks in realisation. Eva’s most likely referring to the deep secrets he had opened up to her about. She must be sparing a thought for his privacy. At the same time, Kona can’t help the slight wave of bitterness that overtakes his being. 

Kona takes a moment to take a deep breath and steady himself. When he speaks, it’s with a gentle, but firm tone in a whisper. “Eva, I appreciate it,” he says as he places a hand on her shoulder, “but I don’t need to be treated like I’m fragile. That’s the opposite of what I want.” _I’ll clarify later,_ Kona leaves unsaid as he glances around the now slightly crowded corridor. More students are trickling in. “I just want us to be like normal, you know? Just talk to me the way you usually do. This is… weird, man.”

Eva blinks up at him with those green eyes. For just a fleeting moment, Kona feels himself grow flustered, but he stands his ground. Finally, with an apologetic dip of her head, Eva answers, “Okay, I’ll try. Sorry,” and attempts to give him a smile. It comes out a little lopsided.

Touched by her efforts at least, Kona extends his arm to her. When she doesn’t protest, he grabs Eva by the hand to lead them back to their table. Kona checks the newly bought watch on his wrist. Even he’s surprised at the sudden rush of affection he feels. Pushing that aside for a moment to calm the red on his cheeks, Kona manages to conclude they have fifteen minutes left of recess.

Eva, however, is still oddly silent. When Kona glances back at her to check, she’s not even looking at him. Instead, she stares at her feet. Her sneakers scuff the ground and she seems a little hesitant in her actions.

 _Maybe she’s embarrassed because I talked to her about it?_ Kona worries, even as he keeps his eyes in front to avoid bumping into anyone. _Ugh, I’ll need to talk to her later,_ he thinks. 

Instantly, he tries to redirect his train of thought before his hands grow too clammy at the thought of even interacting with Eva in that manner. For some reason, he’s getting cold feet at it, even though this is Evangeline, one of his best friends and now his girlfriend. _Maybe she’ll breach the subject later herself,_ he hopes, even though he knows how stupid his train of thought is.

Fortunately, the saving grace is that when they return, Fox no longer makes remarks on the nature of their relationship.


End file.
